newsflash

      so i was drinking by myself in my room (if that's not bad enough, it was done to "the gummy bear song." i'm a winner.) when i was called to dinner. i wasn't bad, but there was definitely some color in my face. my host dad comes in and asks me, "why are your cheeks so red?"

      you know what i said to cover for being drunk at dinner? you know what clever, sober answer i came up with?

      "chocolate." nothing more. i said, "chocolate," then snickered to myself upon realizing the stupidity of my response, then just... nothing. no fucking joke. i don't even know if i meant to say, "i like chocolate" or "i'm red because i ate chocolate" or "did you know that chocolate in edible form was first processed in peru?" nope. just "chocolate".

      NOOOOOOOOOOO